{Puffy eyes}

Today at church was emotionally draining. In fact the whole week has been. And this is a good place for me to let it all out. Sorry to bore anyone.

Last week there was a vote regarding the call of our Pastor and whether or not he will stay on as pastor of our congregation. Much to many many people's upset and disbelief, our beloved Pastor Craig was voted out. It's been a raw week for many. For us not so much, as we've only been there a few months, but today was full-on, and we are rather lost as to what will happen in the future.

You see, as part of the Baptist constitution, pastors can be voted out by the members of the church (and apparently a change-over every few years is fairly normal). Unfortunately for Craig, many of his supporters were either too young to be members, or were not members. He'd never lobbied for it, but it's dealt him a harsh blow. They've been in the church for 16 years. Can you imagine leaving your church, the only church your youngest children have ever known, have grown up in, leave all that you call 'family'.... it's heart-wrenching.

And the tears flowed freely today.

I hadn't cried about it before. I guess I felt a little aside from the raw emotion as we've only been there a few months. But today, seeing the ones I call my family hurting, upset, it broke my heart. I bawled like a baby at times. Hmm... maybe the pregnancy hormones are a little to blame too.

It was like a wake. The mood was sombre. Puffy red eyes all over the church. One of our core members has resigned.

Its all just a huge mess. An ugly, huge mess.

Last week at the meeting that decided the fate, there was anger and bitterness. Some people spoke hard and attacking words at some others. We weren't there and I'm glad we weren't.

But now where do we go? It's so up in the air. So unknown. Although we know God has a plan for us and for Pastor Craig and Robyn, its hard to live with so much uncertainty.

We've really felt at home in this church. We've made wonderful, deep and lasting friendships. We've been embraced by people of all ages, all situations - children, married... or not. And now a tear right down the middle like this.

I guess in all of this we must trust God. Only He knows what the future holds. Only He knows what will happen to the congregation, where Craig and Robyn will go. And He has something wonderful and spiritual planned. He has to. And we have to believe that. Otherwise, well, who knows how we can get through.

God Bless you all, and I'd appreciate your prayers for the situation. Thanks.